Lessons for the writer

11 Apr 2019: A Writer’s Lessons from Reading: Lesson Three

Yesterday I finished reading Catch a Fallen Star by Amy Vastine. A very … nice book. Here’s the back of book blurb:

Hitting rock bottom has landed country star Boone Williams in the middle of his worst nightmare: a recording studio on a horse therapy farm hours away from Nashville. He has no interest in dealing with his problems or writing a new album. And he’s definitely not interested in the gorgeous, feisty mom of one of Helping Hooves’s young clients. She doesn’t even know who he is! But his record label is one tabloid story from cutting him loose, and Boone can’t seem to turn around without bumping into Ruby and her daughter, Violet. Clearly, Boone’s not going to get what he wants. Could Ruby be just what he needs?

I enjoyed this book.

It was nice.

Nice characters.

Nice plot.

Nicely written.

Now, by nice I mean … nice. Not great, not terrible. Easy to read, nothing complicated about it. Nothing deep, no subtext. Was this what the author intended? I’d have to guess yes. It’s simple straight forward and enjoyable, but don’t expect any deep thinking to come from it. I came across no words I hadn’t hear of before. I read no sentences that were so enjoyable I went back to read them again. It’s vanilla. Now, vanilla is a fine ice cream flavor, but I guess I strive for something more in my books, that almost intangible quality that compels you to read all night long, to savor the words on the page like honey and to shed a symbolic tear when you get to the last page because there is no more to read. I strive for mint chocolate chip or rocky road (my personal favorites!)

I suppose the lesson in this book is that there are many kinds of good books. I really liked this book, but it didn’t challenge me in any way. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes I read these really heavy books and a light hearted romp such as this is just the thing. But on the other hand, I don’t want my books to be so fluffy they lack substance. I would say this is the difference between literature and just a good story. There should be some art to your story telling, at least in my opinion.

I’m currently editing my latest novel. It’s good, but there’s a bit more fluff than I’m liking at the moment. In my editing process I try to think of my book as a block of marble and, like Michelangelo, I’m chipping away at it trying to free the literary masterpiece that lies inside said block of marble. (Sorry, my art history major past rears its ugly head.)

My lesson today is to strive for a bit more than fluff. I write mostly romance so you can see where this might be an issue. Fluff is an occupational hazard. Substance is the key, crafting literature out of the depths of your story. One must always strive for what might be just out of reach. It’s in the grasping that we find our literary muse.

Chicken or the egg???

With this book I couldn’t help but wonder which came first, the title or the story. What with the title being just a little too appropriate I honestly would be very surprised if the author didn’t decide to write the story to fit that title. Again, no complaints. Turned out to be a really good story, but it does make me wonder.

-Jennifer

8 April 2019: A Writer’s Lessons from Reading: Lesson Two

Yesterday I finished The Man of my Dreams by Stephanie Aviles.

Here’s the back of book blurb:

Elena Garcia has earned her spurs—she’s given a decade of her life to the Air Force, and now she’s ready for a change. Settling down in the quaint seaside town of Gig Harbor, Washington, she prepares to finally pursue her dream: writing the romances and love stories she wishes she could find for herself.
The last person she expects to run into is Captain Daniel Grant, the cocky pilot personally responsible for Elena’s hellish tour in Kuwait all those years ago. She’s not forgotten what she endured out there and, as the memories rise again, she vows to make Daniel suffer for his crimes.
Daniel can’t blame Elena for her anger—what he did to her was wrong, and he lives with that guilt every day—but she’ll never know the terrible circumstances that pushed him into making that choice. Now, still unable to forget the sexy Latina staff sergeant, he decides to bide his time and rolls with the punches. But with Elena determined to end his career, can he stay in the ring?
The Man of My Dreams is the latest novel from Stephanie Aviles, and is a moving, dramatic, and steamy account of the eternal battle between the head and the heart

Overall, I really enjoyed this read. Actually, I read it in record time. I generally judge a book by how inclined I am to whipl it out and read at stop lights on my commute to/from work. Let’s just say I did a lot of red light reading with this book.

The lesson I learned from this book is that you have to decide what kind of image you want to present to the world. Do you want to present a book that looks like a big name publisher snapped it up to publish … or do you want to look like an indi author out there doing it on her own?

Now, yes, I am an indi author out there doing it on my own, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t strive to present a product that looks like one of the big publishers with mega bucks backing them up produced my novel for public consumption.

The Man of my Dreams has a GREAT story with WONDERFUL characters but fell a little flat on the professional side. I was on page 2 when I decided to see what publisher/editor let this book hit the stands minus the usual polishing one expects. I was not surprised that, upon closer inspection, it was a self published book. The first clue was the sentence (top of page 2) “Do you have granny panties inside there too?”

Every author has to make a choice about how they want to style their novel. Pretty much most novels are going to have the above quote written out as “Do you have granny panties inside there, too?” Note the comma before too. Is it a hard and fast rule about said comma before too? I’ve since becoming a writer discovered that the hard and fast rules of my grade school English teacher are a bit more fast and loose than Mrs. Emminheizer let on in 10^th grade English class.

This is where you have to decide, do I want to write a book the way I want to write a book? I’m the master of my own writing fate and, damn it, if I don’t like the comma before too, I’m darn well not going to use it. Thankfully, this is America and we’re free to comma where we want to comma and not comma as the mood strikes us. (Funny enough, WordPress spellcheck is trying to change comma to coma.)

However …. Do I want to present my book with the most professional presentation possible? Do I want people to think a cast of thousands tirelessly spent hour after sleepless hour toiling away in some Random House sweat shop crafting my book into a literary masterpiece?

I opt for the latter. Do I sometimes feel as if I’m being strangled by the Chicago Manual of Style? Perhaps, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make in order for my books to be the best version of me they can be.

The Man of my Dreams has quite a few other idiosyncrasies that give it away as being self published, but I still give it a solid 4 stars for story alone. I also give the author high marks for her cover, though I think she should have put a bit more self promotion on the back cover and inside matter. No author bio, no social media listings, no website. Don’t make be work so hard to find your next book. After all, you’re an awesome writer! Toot your own horn. If you’re in the market for a fun romance check it out.

Because I somehow feel the need to defend this book, I’ll also point out that I found no spelling or other obvious errors beyond a few ones like the ,too one. Heck, I read Fifty Shades of Gray and found three grammar & spelling errors in it and that book has seen so many editors eyes it’s ridiculous.

-Jennifer

4 Apr 2019: Lesson 1 in A Writer’s Lessons from Reading

I’ve often said that I feel like every book I read is like a lesson in writing. With that in mind I decided to share some of my lessons. Today I finished reading Dead Ringers by Christopher Golden. Not a bad read all things considered. I’d probably recommend it to someone looking to read a book in this genre.

Love the cover!

Here’s the book blurb:

Tess Devlin runs into her ex-husband, Nick, on a Boston sidewalk, and is furious when he pretends not to know her. Afterwards, Tess calls his cell to have it out with him…only to discover that he’s in New Hampshire with his current girlfriend. But if Nick’s not in Boston, who was the man she encountered on the street? Then there’s Frank Lindbergh, who left his grim past behind and never looked back. But now that both of his parents are dead and he’s back in his childhood home, he’s assaulted by an intruder in his living room―a man who could be his brutal, violent twin…if it weren’t for the fact that Frank is an only child.

The big picture:

This book, in my opinion, has no plot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I mean, look at the sitcom Seinfeld. It didn’t really have a plot either. This book is a ‘situation’ our characters find themselves in. There’s very little back story, so it’s really WHAM! and away we go into how they deal with the situation. Because I create detailed outlines of my novels, plot is very important to me, the evolution of my characters, their journey and how they change along the way. I really hadn’t conceived of writing a novel with no plot and wonder how one outlines such a novel. Certainly you’d have to do it differently than I do. Do I need so much plot? Something to ponder.

My favorite turns of phrase:

Here are some of my favorite passages.

“All but once. That one time, Frank Sr. had made his boy a mug of hot chocolate and told him, in a rare moment of introspection, that people made their own monsters … that half the time, they were their own monsters.” (page 7)

“But there had been that moment when they’d first locked eyes, that instant recognition that said, hey, you don’t know me, but I see something in you, like some invisible thread connected them.” (page 19)

“When the starry-eyed belief in a lover’s perfection passed and the ravenous lust of a relationship’s early days began to abate, it was adoration that people really wanted. When just being together was enough to make two people happy, that was the real deal.” (page 134)

“Her itchy eyes burned with tears and her lungs with that held breath, her unvoiced scream.” (page 143)

“The past hung between them, an unwelcome companion whose presence would not allow them to speak freely.” (page 154-155)

“Down in the subway, she always felt far too cut off from the world, the air clammy and insinuating.” (page 170)

“Fear had spread through her like a low-grade fever, lingering and threatening to settle in more deeply, and she didn’t like being afraid.” (page 171)

Words I wasn’t quite up to snuff on:

Either I wasn’t familiar with the word or was confused by its usage. I love increasing my vocabulary and will try to find ways to use these words.

Wan (page 5) (of a person’s complexion or appearance) pale and giving the impression of illness or exhaustion. “She was looking wan and bleary-eyed”

Moue (page 12) A pouting expression used to convey annoyance or distaste.

Verisimilitude (page 18) the appearance of being true or real. “The detail gives the novel some verisimilitude”

Pattered (page 49) Verb. Past tense: Pattered. To make a repeated light tapping sound. “A flurry of rain pattered against the window.” I guess the expression pitter patter of little feet makes more sense now.

Psychomanteum (Page 67) This word has no real definition. I honestly don’t know if it’s real or the author just made it up. In the book it’s some sort of mirrored object, large in size, that was used in a ritual to raise a demon.

Muzzy (page 147) unable to think clearly; confused. “She was shivering and her head felt muzzy from sleep.” I like this word. I’d call it an onomatopoeia ( A word that sounds like what it is.)

Intuit (page 175) Verb. Past tense: intuited; present participle: intuiting. To understand or work out by instinct. “I intuited his real identity.” I kind of figured this one out, seeing as it sounded like intuition, but don’t recall seeing it before.

Baleful (page 194) Adjective. Threatening harm; menacing. “Bill shot a baleful glance in her direction.” I have to admit I dislike this word. To me, it’s the antithesis of an onomatopoeia Baleful sounds like it should mean mournful or sad, not menacing. What’s up with that?

Susurrus (page 223) Noun. Whispering, murmuring, or rustling. “the susurrus of the stream.”

Unmoor (page 259) To release the moorings of (a vessel). “The ship was ready to be unmoored” To cause to feel insecure, confused, or disconnected. “The loss of his wife has unmoored him.” I I’d heard this word before but never in an un-nautical context. In the novel the sentence is “Destroy the construct, unmoor the spirit.”

Subsumed (page 291) Sumsume (Verb) Past tense: Subsumed. To include or absorb (something) in something else. “Most of these phenomena can be subsumed under two broad categories.” Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m a little muzzy on the difference between consume and subsume.

Ending?

The ending was pretty good but I’m left wondering what happened in the following days, especially after the bombshell on the last page. I mean, really, is no one going to notice the changes in Lili? Tess, the main character, didn’t really have an arc. She’s the same person on page one as she is on the last page. Just a chapter more to give me an idea if the events of the book changed her would have been appreciated. I think I’d preferred the book if Kyrie (her ex-husband’s girlfriend) had actually died. I was a little disappointed when she lived. (Sorry, Kyrie. C’est la vie.)

Seems like there’s room for a sequel, especially given the last page bombshell. When something that dramatic happens, I think most of the story is in the aftermath and how it impacts the participants. There’s meat there to be explored.

-Jennifer

25 March 2017: There’s a case of pop in the boot.

Here’s the tenth installment of my series on How to Write a Good Romance (or any story really) based on what not to do:

10: There’s a case of pop in the boot.

If you’re from eastern Long Island, like I am, you say things a certain way. We call it soda. Up in Buffalo where I went to school, they called it pop. Keep this in mind if you’re writing for characters that are from a different region of the country than you are.

I recently read a book that took place in the Carolinas, but the protagonist kept saying things like she was going to take the lift up to the third floor or put her groceries in the boot of her car. It was obvious the author was from the UK, yet she didn’t take care to edit out words that folks in the Carolina’s wouldn’t use.

If your writing dialogue for charters that are from anywhere other than where you grew up, be sure to research regional dialects for things like:

Would your characters say …

Sneakers or trainers
Ball cap or Baseball hat
Pop, soda or coke

If they lived in Boston, everything there is described as “wicked,” however, as a New Yorker myself, I’d be more likely to describe things as cool, never wicked.

To be honest, I cheat a little. All my novels have heroines from my small, hometown of Wading River, NY. Being from this town, I’m apt to be accurate in how my heroines talk.

-Jennifer

Jennifer Geoghan, author of:

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19 May 2016: Help! I’m drowning in excess exposition and characters!

As a continuation of my last post , here’s the issues I encountered and lessons learned from the other book I started this past weekend. Again, for the sake of the author, I’ll keep the name of the novel to myself.

It’s a not terribly long romance novel. Problem is, I’m over 50% of the way through the book and I feel like the entire first half of the book could have and should have been condensed into the first 10% of the book. The pacing is so slow it’s driving me crazy. The only reason I’m still reading it is because I’m curious to see if the author crams the plot resolution into the last paragraph. At this rate I have no idea how she’s going to manage to get any story line into the book. So far all she’s done is introduce 16+ characters and have the heroine say she’s a school teacher who because all her friends are now married and having babies, wants to have a baby on her own without waiting for a husband to come along. There, I said it one sentence, the author took half a book to say that. Oh, and the heroine is organizing a charity event where they will auction off some bachelors. It took up to 49% of the way through the book for the couple to kiss and that was after they’d had their first real conversation. I gather that this is not the first book in the series, but one of my issues with it is that there are WAY TOO MANY characters. Even if it’s a series where all the books take place in the same town, it doesn’t mean you should include all the previous characters in every book. The main focus should be the couple that book is centered on and a few supporting cast. This book has thrown over 16+ characters at me so far and I’m only half way through!

When writing my current novel, I’ve been very mindful of the pacing in the first chapter. By the end of chapter one I’ve introduced the main characters and placed them in the middle of the action. I’ve given the first chapter to a few people to read to get their opinion about the pacing, hoping I wasn’t dragging it out a bit. Sometimes it’s hard to take a step back and recognize the pacing of your own book.

With this novel, I think the author got lost in her love for her characters (all 16+ of them) and forgot that she needed to move the plot along quickly enough to keep the reader engaged. Novels shouldn’t be an author’s love story with a character they created, and in this case I think it is. In my opinion, the entire book would pace so much better if the author ditched a lot of narrative that takes place during conversations between two characters. This isn’t from the book, but will give you the idea of what I’m talking about.

“Let’s go to the beach today,” Mary suggested. Really she didn’t want to go to the beach but needed to get out of the house and any destination was better than cleaning the garage. It was Friday and that garage wasn’t going to clean itself. Looking out the window she wondered if it would rain, which only reminded her that she needed to wash her car. Her car … her father had given her that car for a graduation present. She missed her father so much it hurt sometimes. The day he’d been run over by the train on his way home from the apothecary had been the worst day of her life. Well, the worst until Justin walked into town. Justin was no good and never would be. Maybe he’d look better if his hair wasn’t purple. Mary loved purple, in fact it was her favorite color, but dying her hair purple was where she drew the line.

“Sure the beach sounds like a good idea,” Diane replied as she handed Mary a cup of coffee.

In my little example above you can see how annoying it is that there is so much exposition between the lines of dialog that quite frankly has nothing to do with the conversation itself. The author of this book has the terrible habit of making a simple conversation go on for pages and pages and pages. Honestly, I started skipping over a lot of this filler to get to the rest of the dialog in the conversation. With so much exposition I was getting lost as to who spoke last so when someone eventually spoke, I had no idea who it was.

Lessons Learned:

Too many chefs crowd up a kitchen just like too many characters confuse your readers. Keep to a small core set of characters, especially in a shorter length novel and develop your main characters before adding more character into the mix. If you think you may have too many characters, see if there is a way to combine two into one.

Pacing is paramount. By the end of the first chapter you should already have established who your main characters are, set up the situation they find themselves in and why the reader should want to continue reading. This is super important if you’re going to be submitting your book to a publisher or an agent. If they only want to see the first chapter, it had better be a good one.

Don’t drown your dialog. Your reader wants to feel as if they’re eaves dropping on your character’s conversation. Too much exposition in between actual dialog dilutes the conversation they are having and disengages your readers.

-Jennifer

Jennifer Geoghan, author of The Purity of Blood novel series and If Love is a Lie: A Partly True Love Story.

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