11 Nov 2015 … Sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up

As I said yesterday, I had jury duty on Monday.  While there I was reminded of that old adage that truth indeed is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you hear things come out of people’s mouths that if a character in a book had said them … well, no one would believe it.

  • Case in point.

When they first started to eliminate folks from our jury pool, the first round of questions they asked us was only two questions.  Is English your native language, and is there anyone here that it would be a hardship for to be a juror on this trial since it’s going to last over a week.  Some of the excuses I heard were so funny that I literally had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing out loud.  The defendant and one of his lawyers caught me like this on several occasions throughout the day which was a bit embarrassing as it was a serious proceeding, but read below and try to imagine if you could keep a straight face.

Excuse #1:  Juror:  “I have a dentist appointment.”

Judge: “Did you say you have an appointment with a dentist?  Isn’t that something you could reschedule?”

Juror: “No ma’am.  Breathing the air in this courtroom hurts. I can’t be here.”

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Always happy to help you get out of jury duty if I can!

Excuse #2: Little old Hispanic man Juror: “I gotta pee all the time, like every twenty minutes!”

Judge: “Do you have to go now?”

Juror: “YES!”

Judge: “Okay, well we’ll be taking a break in a few minutes.”untitledExcuse #3: Juror: “I have an MRI appointment.”

Judge: “What day is it?”

Juror: “Oh, I haven’t scheduled it yet.”

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Seriously?  And they said all this completely deadpan, not a smile was cracked.  If I wrote these lines into a book no one would believe them!  They’d say it was too unbelievable, but God as my witness I heard all three of these.  Now do you understand why my crazy psycho killer kept catching me trying not to laugh???

It really makes me wonder why some folks like to get so picky about saying things in books aren’t believable, because I’ve seen and heard things in my life that are so much stranger than any fiction written.

-Jennifer

Jennifer Geoghan, author of The Purity of Blood novel series and If Love is a Lie: A Partly True Love Story.

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